Her phone messed up. Not the first time but ahh, I hate it when her phone acts up. I missed her so much. I thought she was angry at me and didnt wanna talk to me. I thought I'd leave for Bangkok with us being like that. I dont wanna go to Bangkok. Today has been so wonderful with her. I cherished all the time we spent today. Its not like I'll never see her again. She promised to take me out straight away once I get back and we'd take a stroll here and there lol. She's so adorable. I'll miss her loads. Haha, the way we're talking now, its as if this is the last time we'll ever see each other. XD I'm sitting in front of my laptop, msging her, grinning like an idiot. Luckily no one can see me lol. I guess how things are now, I can leave for Bangkok feeling happy. She makes me happy. And we're almost passing the deadly 3 months mark! NONE of my relationships ever get past that mark. I either get bored, start playing around, start cheating, ignore my bf or whatever after 3 months. XDD But I still like her so effin much. I'm just happy right now. Eeek, here comes her reply. Gotta go. I'll miss her so much....

I must've messed up again. She made me jealous this afternoon. So I didnt reply her. I msged her again after tuition but she didnt reply.. I thought maybe she's busy you know? But she has never been too busy for me. I know she has credit. She just reloaded. I msged her again just now to wish her goodnight. She hasnt replied. I'll be leaving on Friday. For 5 effin days. 5 effin days without her. When she ran outta credit, I had to go 2 days without her. Thats the most I've ever gone. And it was pure hell. I had to keep myself busy, reading newspaper, Photoshopping, watching TV, playing with my dog. Or else I'd start thinking of her. And I'll get so down and moody. I dont mean to push her away, but I really miss her when she's not around. I get moody and cranky. Thats not good, I know she wont want me feeling that way.. I wonder what's she doing now.. I refuse to go online on MSN ever again. Everytime I do, it just makes me sad. She said absence makes the heart grow fonder. But for me.. absence makes my heart and eyes wander. So far I've been good, I dont want to play around with her. She's freakin awesome. I dont know why I deserve such a girl. She still hasnt replied. Its been 15 minutes. Haha, she always replies within 5 - 10 minutes. And she always apologizes if she takes a longer than usual time to reply. We talk about nothing but having her around is comfort for me. I wont say I'd love her forever. But for now, yeah I love her. And it just sucks not having her here. She still hasnt replied.

On a happier note, everyone complimented my hair today in Maziah. I dont regret dying my tips purple. I even got it done by this freakishly cute Hairport dude. I keep peeking in Hairport to get a glimpse of him. In his sexy coat, his uber 'ying' hair. *swoons* My eyes wander to cute guys / girls. But I'm not gonna let my heart wander. It's only for her.

My hormones are seriously unstable. Just now I was laughing and grinning then felt relieved and now I'm just close to tears. Tsk tsk. I know most people dont come to my blog now, so I'll just rant more openly about how I feel. XP I finally bought Miyavi-sama's photobook which was about RM227. @__@ But it's worth it. His pictures just bring me into my La La Land. XD Then in the bus on the way home from KL, I was thinking how relieved I am that school's over. I dont need to see her, I dont need to feel hurt or left out. I hate being like this. School just sucks. Enjoy your fuckin school life, that's what people tell me. I'm already tired of all this, so I guess I'm embracing my loner side once again. That was what I was basically thinking of on the wya home from KL. Then I got online, and read her blog. I dont know why I keep going there. I guess its the only way I can feel like she's talking to me. I guess it's my fault for not mixing around, but I was in a loner mood, I got irritated by EVERYONE and ANYONE easily. I didnt wanna snap at her. >__< I think half of my class irritated me on the last day of school. @__@ I didnt talk to her at all on the last day of school. I didnt even say bye. Our friendship's like crumbling. And I dont know what to do. I liked her as my best friend, she always made me laugh and I just felt way at home with her. Like no matter what I did, she'd be okay with it. She wont freak and run away. ^^" I wanna say I'm sorry to her, make things okay between us again. I dont wanna lose this friendship. But I know I suck at all this. I hope she reads this and forgives me ne? I'm too tired to write anymore. But I didnt think I'd end my Form 3 school life like this. I had an awesome year coz of her and I messed it up in the end. Haihh, way to go. I'm tired and feeling emo. I need some sleep. I know the flow of this blog isnt very good. But I dont care. Nobody really reads this so whatever.

Ahh, I had such a crappy dayyyy.. T____T First of all, school. We dont do anything in school. NOTHING. Why should I still come.. Wasting my damn time. Ok, so you might ask 'What about your friends? You dont play around with them meh?' Hmm, I dont know what to say. People changed. Or maybe I've changed. Ever since the Rotary Fair, I felt myself slipping slowly back to my loner roots. I dont talk much anymore, mostly thinking to myself. Not that I mind being alone. After all, loneliness has its own beauty. So that didnt really bug me. But I havent talked to her the whole dayyyy.. Her phone keeps acting up.. Not the first time it happens. But even a day without her is hell. I get all cranky and moody. Haihh, I miss her so much. I had tuition today, so I couldnt even see her online. Or else I could've kacau-ed her or something. My mind keeps wandering to her. Wondering what she's doing. Is she thinking of me? Is she tired? She keeps saying she's tired, and I keep telling her to sleep earlier but she never listens.. @__@ I never thought I could miss anyone this much. Without her I feel all dead and tired. x___x Well, I've still got 5 more hours before I go to sleep. Maybe she'll msg me by then. >___< Stupid phone..